Asides

Aside 1 comment on "Yeah, that moment"

You know the moment when something, even the tiniest something, finally goes right?

I’m querying a mms that might as well be a roller-coaster, for all the ups, downs, and death-spirals it has gone through in the last three years. This current round of querying has only been a month-and-a-half, nowhere near the two years I spent ineffectually hawking Bloodshadow.

Sometimes, an offhand email request opens unexpected doors. A publisher I knew only in passing, is suddenly revealed as A Good Publisher. A publisher already dealing with many of the very good agents on my wish list, so just from that I can infer that both sides are of decent industry standing. And the publisher is actually viable, considering my weird mix of genres that might be homeless anywhere else. Not too small, not so big, a good mix of principals who seem to not only know but adore their business.

Thanks to that one email response, I’ve gone from crickets, slamming doors, and numb exasperation, to a small amount of hope for this new book. My query countdown has been given overtime. It doesn’t matter if no one else says ‘yes’ or even ‘maybe’. I have two alternate plans now, not just, ‘Well, then I’ll self-publish.’ Of course it’s not a sure thing – nothing ever is. But it’s a step in the right direction.

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More happiness:

Sorting and packaging a trove of gemstone beads, soon to be up on the Plazko.com website. Prettyprettypretty.

Making a cosplay piece comfortable enough to be a housecoat.

Chai. Chai is always happy.

I need these moments because 2016 is not being particularly nice on its own.

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Adrift in the typhoon’s eye,

Stalled on the cliff’s edge,

I craft lists of aides I cannot deploy

Until the wind swells

Strong enough

To lift my wings again.

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There’s this depressing song-and-dance routine that I keep seeing from so many writers, in several genres: “Oh, this crappy little publisher is treating me soooo badly. I think I’ll leave them and try to find another crappy little publisher.”

Or they decide, like Laura Harner did in 2011, to leave their CLP and self-publish. She’s not the only one to choose that route. Sometimes it works really well, without the author resorting to ghostwriters and plagiarism to keep up the publishing schedule.

There is nothing wrong with informed self-publishing, by someone committed to doing it right. That’s not what this post is about.

Nor are all small publishers CLPs. Some really do a great job, and are worth the business risk.

Choosing to try a bigger, better publisher may not even cross these authors’ minds. A lot of new(er) writers, or writers accustomed to small press business practices, are simply afraid of the Big Five. They think they might not be ‘good enough’ for a major publisher, and are not willing to work at improving their writing. Or they can’t or won’t try to get agent representation, which they need to get through the door of any publisher closed to public queries. Or they’re impatient with the slower-than-glaciers response time and publishing pace of many Big Five imprints.

For whatever reason, by continuing to go small, they are possibly cutting themselves out of much higher earnings and recognition in the long run.

Plus, they are annoying the shit out of those of us who keep watching them do it over and over…

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The accuracy of a writer’s or artist’s self-assessment on how new, original, and groundbreaking their work really is…is likely proportional to their skill and experiences in that field.

The new artist who thinks they’re invented a metalworking technique known for hundreds of years. The erotica author who wants to invent a ‘new’ form of erotic writing that is actually the oldest and most standard form. Anyone who excuses obvious flaws as a necessary part of process.

A form of the Dunning-Kruger Effect, folks.

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Just because someone graduated from a well-known MFA literary writing program, doesn’t mean they can write coherent and convincing science-fiction and fantasy.

In my 40 years of reading the stuff, it usually means they can’t.*

We do these authors a disservice by hyping them with huge advances and gonzo marketing, instead of sending them off to Clarion, Viable Paradise, or some of the MFA programs actually geared toward speculative fiction.

* Usually, they claim they love SFF and read a lot of it. Which doesn’t explain the number of stupid and/or lazy tropes they use in their own work.

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Publishing is such a weird business. I have fairly strong internet analytical evidence that a review I wrote over a year ago has been responsible for at least a couple hundred sales…of someone else’s book. I’m happy for them. It’s a good book. At the same time, I wish my self-promo could go so well…

Aside 2 comments on "Content writing for blogs"

A handy tip on writing for your blog: do most of it yourself or don’t do it at all.

Sure, cultivate guest blog trades for relevant and relatable posts. It’s fun and lets you network with peers. But your blog should be about your voice and vision, not someone else’s. Especially not someone you’ve hired to scrape and repackage web topics. Otherwise you’re not blogging, you’re just a spamming spammer who spams. 

If you can’t write well enough for publication, take some classes or use free online English-as-a-second-language resources until you can. 

Especially if your blog is your business contact and showcase.

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If all you write are erotic ‘romance’ books where the plot is a flimsy excuse for more (and more graphic) contractually obligated sex scenes…then yeah, you might burn out on writing sex scenes altogether.

 

Aside 1 comment on "one of these platforms is not like the other"

(Borrowing from Stephen Colbert): A Tip Of The Hat to commercially published authors who are self-publishing their backlists. That’s good for them and their readers. We don’t want a return to the days of the midlist mass-market paperback that had a print run of 2000 copies, and about two weeks on the bookstore shelf to prove itself.

A Wag Of The Finger to those same authors who imply or state their current self-publishing experience and results are 100% applicable to the masses of unpublished, unagented, likely unpolished, and possibly under-informed writers who follow them.

A reasonably successful commercial author can springboard their self-publishing efforts off already existing readerships, and whatever work their old publisher’s marketing department did on their behalf.

Unknown self-published authors have a far rougher road. 

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Original characters in fanfiction are a responsibility, not a right.

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I honestly don’t know what to tell people who only post updates, photos, links, etc on Facebook – and then get huffy when I don’t respond. Chances are, I didn’t even see it. If you’re only interacting on FB, then I’m going to miss a lot of it. Until long after the fact, and possibly never.

I check my FB account when I remember to. Maybe once a week, sometimes once a month. I keep it as a placeholder. I’m not thrilled with the directions FB seems to be going. I’ve already abandoned a personal account. The only social media I find more annoying is Zorpia, and that’s because they don’t stop spamming once they have an email addy.

If you are *a business* and you’re only updating on Facebook – good heavens, what is wrong with you? Cross-post and link to Twitter, Tumblr, Google+, and LinkedIn. Have an actual blog: WordPress, Blogger, Squarespace, and others make it easy. I’m not that social media-savvy yet, and I manage to do it.

Consumers and collaborators like me would probably like to work with you more, if we don’t have to deal with Facebook on the way.

 

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I was going to write a haiku love letter about thrift stores, but I don’t have to. This person already has a comprehensive guide to the wonder and madness that is thrifting.

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Go here and laugh: https://twitter.com/levostregc

Also, weep, smile foolishly, and hold your heads up high, all you students of the humanities. We may be out of fashion, but we’re not extinct yet.

(Go here, even only to see the glory of a Rickroll or American Pie rendered in 13th C English. Things of beauty.)

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Writers: treat writing contests the same way you’d treat new agents, publishers, or marketing/publicity firms. With caution. C’mon, you know the drill: trust, but verify. Often, verify before you even trust.

Some writing contests are reputable, honest, and offer great prizes and viable publicity for winners and finalists. Even entry-fee contests for various writing genres can be worthwhile, if they offer an industry-respected status, and the entry fees are reasonable and used toward covering the administration of the contest.

Some ‘contests’ are merely fishing expeditions set up by uninformed or possibly predatory publishers, to build a source of fast capital from entry fees and/or get the names of authors who might become clients.

It’s up to you to research your venues *before* you apply to them. Publishing is a party, and you don’t have to dance with everyone who asks! Ditch the beer goggles and the ‘They like me!’ squee, and focus on who’s asking, and what they can offer.

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Silly villain, monologue after you kill somebody, not before.

Aside 3 comments on "#notawerewolf"

I tend to write secondary-world science fiction and fantasy. That means it’s probably a made-up world and culture that may have nothing to do with our Earth. Often, ‘true humans’ like us aren’t even in the cast of characters.

I have not written YA, NA or adult urban fantasy set in contemporary locales (though I love some of the genre), or paranormal romance drawn from the new ‘conventions’ of vampires, angels/demons, Fey Folk, or werewolves. There’s also a whole sub-genre of erotic fiction dealing with shapeshifters that I approach judiciously, because many of those writers deal in the same familiar contemporary vein.

I’ve stopped seeking out beta readers who’ve only read those genres. Because I can explain something only a certain number of times before losing my cool:

paws for blog

 

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I’ve learned that I can maybe tell something by the type of Amazon bio a self-published writer offers. If it’s short and strong, the prose is likely to be solid and interesting. If it’s one unbroken meandering paragraph with a lot of unnecessary details – look out, the book will probably be the same way.

 

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courtesy of http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/bad-parking-job-shamed-hilarious-graffiti-article-1.1755683
courtesy of http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/bad-parking-job-shamed-hilarious-graffiti-article-1.1755683

It must be a rule of nature and traffic that the driver of the biggest SUV in the grocery store parking lot absolutely has to do one or all three of these things:

1) Stop their vehicle right outside the doors in the walk zone, even when there is plenty of parking out in the lot. And stay there, idling while their passenger goes in and leisurely shops.

2) If they do park in the lot, they must take up at least two parking spaces.

3) Once leaving the parking lot, they must try to turn left into rush hour traffic, away from a traffic light.