…To know a manuscript (that has earned an almost career-wrecking place in my life, that I spent a ridiculous amount of time writing, and that I wonder if anyone besides me, three beta readers, and my agent will even care about when the dust clears) – is going out on submission this week.
To people whose work I’ve admired for as long as I’ve been writing.
It’s terrifying. (OMG, what the hell are we thinking?)
It’s embarrassing. (It really shouldn’t have taken me that long, or that many revisions and rejections, to write. Added 11-8-2014: triply embarrassing, since I just realized that those last-minute-changes caused a minor formatting glitch I didn’t catch until today. Ugh.)
It’s exhilarating. (I’ve done everything I could on this end – now it’s up to the mms and the people seeing it for the first time.)
In a few hours my emotions will be tempered once more by hard-won pragmatism.
Twenty years ago, if this gambit failed at the mass-market paperback level, I’d have to expensively self-pub the damn thing in print, or inexpensively put it out in ‘zine format. Now I have self-publishing options galore, and many digital vendors to choose. I’d still be out the money and time spent on marketing or packaging, but there’s a lot more hope and room for new authors.
But I’m not quite to the point of ragging on the publishing industry as some kind of dinosaur* out of touch with the real world. The large genre imprints and their smaller independent cousins still have a lot to offer authors: great cover artists on staff, brilliant editors, dedicated marketing, and the aegis of a respected imprint ‘name’ to give an unknown author at least a little boost. I adore my agent (who is tough, smart, and experienced in this game, which is why I work with her) and I want to see what she can do with this project before I hit the ‘Upload’ button to Kindle.
Excelsior!
* Yes, I chose the heading GIF for a reason, with full awareness of the comparisons between space exploration and publishing. Especially this week. Still, go here to see the original NASA photo and some other incredible shots.
May it travel well.
Many thanks, Lorna. Now I’m at the hurry-up-and-wait stage, so I’ll just distract myself with the hundred *other* things I have to do.