Reviews are for readers…

…Not authors.

This would have been made clear to me over the last couple of years (If I hadn’t already learned this, like, twenty years ago), just from the repeated scuffles over on Goodreads. I’ve written about this before, but maybe it’s time to revisit it.

1. Authors need to stay the hell off review boards, or at least avoid making their presence known via responses to reviews. Very little good will come of responses to reviews, especially negative ones.

2. Readers are allowed to say anything they want about the book. Deviations into the author’s life, character, choices, etc. are probably off-limits, and excused only when they significantly affect a reader’s enjoyment of the book. Stalking, doxxing, and unfounded character attacks are counterproductive and stupid. If you don’t like the author, don’t read any more of their books.

3. Readers are allowed to rate a book any level they wish. Yes, we authors can be attention-hogs desperate to know the meaning of that one-star review-with-no-explanation. We’re as twitchy as teens waiting for prom invitations. But it’s not our place to know or judge what kind of headspace the reader was in when they finished (or did not finish) our book.

I’ve written fan fiction specifically meant to break my readers. I know those pieces are effective when I get outraged howls in return. Which happens, even though I respect triggers and offer plenty of warnings there and in my original fiction.

4. Reader comments are precious. Even the negative ones. A single one-star review can actually draw other readers, if they disagree enough with the review. Brilliantly reasoned three and four star reviews can be as useful as gushing 5-star reviews (and often more honest.) It took me two years to get four reviews on Amazon and thirteen on Goodreads. While some of those annoy me more than others, I’m still thrilled that people took the time to comment. I generally don’t respond on review sites, either. It’s not my place.

I have this place in which to snarl and snark.

There’s a one-star review of Moro’s Price I particularly treasure. Why? Because it is so shallow, so idiotic, I counted it a blessing that reader hated my book. After looking at blurbs and sample texts from all the books highly rated by that reader, I knew not to bother with them. Halleluia! I have enough great books already on my to-be-read list. Thank you, disgruntled reader, from the bottom of my overstressed little heart.

Why am I talking about this stuff again?

Because Anne Rice can’t stop talking, apparently. She has yet again joined the hosts of whiny, self-absorbed, self-publishing special snowflakes who somehow equate negative reviews with bullying.

What a uniquely First-World problem. To either be so ignorant about your own business, you cannot understand how it works. Or to be so lofty you now believe your sycophants’ endless hype and mindless support.

The blog and review site Smart Bitches, Trashy Books hosts a great discussion of this, ah, argument today. You can follow links from there to Forbes.com, and a 2012 article on how authors should deal with bad reviews.

Criticism hurts, especially if it seems unfounded or unduly harsh, with no suggestions on improvement.

Constructive criticism hurts, too, but it is as much a good hurt as a great session at the gym or several steep miles on the hiking trail.

Many years ago, early on in a commercial art job, I had a boss who would look at art projects and say, ‘That piece sucks’. It drove my meeker co-workers to despair, because they had to get a manager to either intercede or translate. I got fed up one day when it happened to me. So I cornered my boss in the studio, pointed to my offending painting, and said,”Okay, it sucks. Since you’re here, will you please tell me why it sucks, so I can fix it?” He looked startled, then launched into what became a fascinating lesson on his approach to composition and special effect problem-solving.

We were fairly good friends after that, enough that I still send bright-eyed and naive BFA puppies to his firm to get their shiny preconceptions knocked away.

Author’s note added June 2, 2014: Authors, whatever you do, please, please DO NOT review your own damn book. Not on Goodreads or Amazon, or anywhere but your own blog/website. Otherwise it looks stupid and precious, and all it does is showcase how clueless and desperate you are.